The Ultimate (and completely safe) “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game: Presidential Edition

As Debate Night approaches, America is as fearful and frazzled as ever. Many weak, rudderless Americans are terrified (and therefore easily manipulated by fear) and many questions are begging to be answered. Questions like: Which candidate will be more overtly satanic in tonight’s debate? Habitually twitching and passing out Hillary, or the personification of unrepentant pride that is Donald Trump?

That’s a tough one, isn’t it?

And it doesn’t get any easier from there.

Which candidate will more actively cheer and promote the ever growing power of the Orwellian American State?

Oh man…that’s a tough one, too!

And which candidate will more passionately argue for a gigantic globe-dominating military that we obviously cannot afford because we are BROKE. (See: How can a “broke” country have the biggest military in the world?)

Which candidate will more completely avoid calling anyone’s attention to the fact that our whole economy is a cruel fiction based upon the satanic contrivance of fiat currency (money that some create out of thin air so that they can then control and practically own everyone and everything beneath them)?

Or, put another way in a more simplified form: Which candidate will more clearly personify the judgment of God upon a proud, unrepentant America?

Again, it’s hard to say. They’re both so committed to the same evils in so many of the same ways that it’s hard to give anyone a real edge. Talk about a nail biter!

Even so, and despite the overtly satanic, Statist worldviews that will be spewing forth from both featured sets of habitually lying lips on stage tonight, there is some real value to be found in this tragi-comedic event for those who are inclined to watch for the right reasons.

So it is in that context and in keeping with the excruciatingly reliable theme recognized and enshrined back during the primary debating season in an article we posted entitled The Ultimate (and completely safe) “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game, that I’d like to offer up a revised version of that article along with tweaked rules for the Presidential Edition of the The Ultimate (and completely safe) “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game:

“As a reformed (and reforming) political junkie who still enjoys these sorts of events from what I hope is an ever-more Christ-centered and Great Commission-fueled perspective, I’ll definitely be tuning in. But where the whole “we must support the lesser evil put forth by the System” used to actually work on me, these days events such as this tend to inspire more of a “watching a train wreck in slow motion” curiosity combined with a desire to observe and critique this episode of The American Political Puppet Show from a biblical perspective so that maybe, just maybe, something informative and helpful might be gleaned and used to advance the Kingdom of God.

So tonight’s Big Show is part comedy, part tragedy, part horror show, and part recon opportunity.

It’s in this context that I’d like to offer for your consideration something I’d normally not offer for anyone’s consideration: A drinking game.

Not just any drinking game, but The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game.

Contrary to what the title may imply, this game is completely safe, even for devout Southern Baptists.

I know, I know, this seems impossible…and sounds pretty sketchy. But just trust me for a sec. The devil is removed by the details, and we’ll get to those pronto.

The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game is fairly simple.

For those of you (thankfully) unfamiliar with this “drinking game” concept, the general idea goes like this:

Some form of beverage is placed before those participating in the game.

Then, every time a predetermined trigger event occurs, someone (or everyone, depending on the game) has to take a drink of the beverage in question.

For example, if you had a group gathered to watch Star Wars flicks and the trigger event was “anytime anyone says ‘may the force be with you””, then every time anyone in the movie said the trigger phrase, everyone would have to take a drink.

Obviously, this is not a game that should normally be played with alcoholic beverages. For our purposes here, however, it really won’t matter. You can use any beverage you like, from hard liquor on down, without any fear of violating the beautiful and important biblical command to avoid drunkenness.

In The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game, the triggers are as follows:

• Any time a professing Christian candidate addresses a major policy issue by citing, appealing to, and then applying the relevant details of Scripture on the matter, everybody has to take a drink.
  .
  
• Any time a professing Christian candidate makes it plain that there is only one true God and that His Word is our binding source of law, justice, liberty, and freedom, everybody has to take a drink. (See: Presuppositional Law: Where we begin with law determines where we end.)
  .
• Any time a professing Christian candidate repents (and/or advises others to repent) of having ever believed and encouraged others to believe that there is a “right” to openly worship false gods, everybody has to take a drink. (See: Note to ‘Merica: There is no “God-given right” to worship false gods. Repent accordingly.)
  .
• Any time a professing Christian candidate makes a clear promise to completely eliminate the explicitly Socialist Social Security program, everybody has to take a drink. (See: How American Conservatives happily forge the chains of American Socialism.)
  .
• Any time a professing Christian candidate makes a clear promise to completely eliminate and consistently oppose the explicitly Marxist/anti-Christian system of State-run children’s “education” at any level (state or federal), everybody has to take a drink. (See: Redeeming Children’s Education: Confronting Our Satanic Approach to the Pursuit of Knowledge.)
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• Any time a professing Christian candidate makes it plain that the State – even the American State – is subject to the binding Word of Christ the King and should repent for any way in which that Word has been violated, everybody has to take a drink.

So there you have it.

These are the rules.

These are the drink triggers.

And these are the reasons why even the most vigorously Southern Baptist or Church of Christ type can play The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game without fear of even one drop of alcohol touching their lips.

Even so, The Ultimate “Debate”-Watchers’ Drinking Game is offered for your consideration here as an illustration only.

After all, Lord willing, one day we will have actual candidates involved in actual debates who will routinely do the very things that trigger drinking in the game. And if, by the grace of God, one should be moved to do so on one or more occasions tonight, the last thing I want to do is attach a bad thing (like slamming a shot of Jack) to such a good and encouraging moment.

That said, I hope that the point here is plain and that we will all take it seriously.

At the end of the day, the Pagan Political Right and Pagan Political Left are two wings of the same dragon.

So feel free to take in tonight’s Big Show.

Just remember to stay sober-minded and “test all things”…especially the things said at this “debate”.”

Two wings of the same dragon, indeed.

The fact that it’s come down to Trump and Clinton ought to tell us something.

The fact that God is showing us so much about ourselves with so much (often jarring and gag-inducing) clarity ought to tell us something.

That fact that we have been given yet another day to repent, believe, and submit to Christ as King in political practice even as we allow ourselves to be wrapped up and immersed in this idiotic puppet show as though the votes cast for either of these clowns has the capacity to save us or “make us great again” ought to tell us something.

Of course, the things that we ought to be getting are precisely the very things that will be religiously avoided by the two anti-Christ candidates yammering on stage tonight.

This should come as no surprise, of course, since the things that we desperately need to take from tonight’s debate are the very things that tonight’s debate is designed to distract us from noticing, much less addressing, in even a remotely biblical manner.

Distraction.

That’s the name of this game.

That’s the point of the Trump/Clinton Show.

Distraction away from the One that can actually save us, and distraction toward more of the very things that are enslaving and killing us.

That’s what Trump/Clinton and the System that brought you Trump/Clinton are all about.

So enjoy the show…as you are able…

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